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Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in
Mort's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 | | 6:35 am |
I'm pretty sure the only thing that would have made Obama's speech more amazing, would have been if during that "lifting me higher" song, he rode out in the Statue of Liberty - Ghostbusters 2-style. And then stomped a Sarah Palin possessed by Vigo the Carpathian. Also, good: no old dude was elected for president. So, good job all around, 'Merica. (No sarcasm intended.) | | Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 | | 9:27 pm |
Like Chacha, Hulu also hates Canadians and won't let me use it. So, if anybody is willing to accept a mission of awesome, could you please watch this episode of Silver Spoons and let me know if it makes as much sense as it did when I was a kid: http://www.hulu.com/watch/22360/silver-spoons-the-best-christmas-everDoes his train really run on tracks set near a homeless kid that lived in a cave? | | 7:43 pm |
| | Monday, August 25th, 2008 | | 8:58 pm |
| | Sunday, July 30th, 2006 | | 5:22 pm |
| | Tuesday, July 25th, 2006 | | 11:44 pm |
CON 2006: Representin'
So, I'm back. Five days of absorbing overwhelming amounts of nerd prom activity is a lot to decompress. Why I ended up spending the day glued to the computer trying to figure out all the stuff I missed out on instead of relaxing before I go back to the real world, I don't really know. Although I just found out Frank Miller's writing/directing The Spirit movie. Cool. It was weird with there with being so few people than last year. But Kel, Dan, Kristy and I tried to represent. Anyway, here're some highlights; The Deepak Chopra/Grant Morrison panel. I forgot to look for my skullcap after, because my mind was considerably blown. The second most engaging panel I've ever been too. The most engaging panel was also from this year and that honor goes solely to Nic Cage. Even though he can be a great actor, I've always kind of had a hate-on for him. No longer. After seeing his insane hair extensions and hearing him passionately ramble on about how ghost rider loves karen carpenter and jellybeans in champagne glasses I now have a new found respect for nicolas cage...'s drugs. The Lost panel was disappointing as I didn't get in. I was part of a disgruntled monster line-up of people that didn't get it. But seeing the trailer to '300' made up for it, I think. The Southland Tales panel was disappointing and I did get in to that one. It started half an hour late. And it took them even longer to get their footage working. After waiting so long...I expected.. something. A music video of Justin Timberlake lip-synching to that Killers song while drinking a couple Buds doesn't quite fit criteria for being 'something.' Also, Richard Kelly seems kind of like a douche. Possibly brilliant and well-intentioned, but still kind of a douche. As sour as I was after the panel, I picked up the first 'chapter' of the southland tales and I'm still really stoked for the flick. Looks pretty complex and probably not best summarized by the member of shitty boy band lip-synching to a tired song. The winner of the "awesome--wait.whaaaadafuck?" moment goes to Quentin Tarantino when he announced the cast on hand for his movie and called them up to the stage. When he announced "Sidney Poitier" starring in his sure-to-be sleazy, violently awesome movie I was totally caught off guard. Even more so when instead of the legend, some young hussy walked up on stage. [See: Sydney Poitier, His daughter. Who knew?] Runner-up for the "awesome--whaddafuck?" award goes to the knock on my door Thursday morning. Wednesday night, I called Kel and Dan's room letting em know what room we were in, so we could hook up. As I was getting ready for the con the next morning, there's a loud knock of the door. As I walking towards the door, I hear a muffled voice say "Security." Being somewhat crafty, I saw through Dan and Kel's ruse immediately and ran to the door about to announce 'they'll never take me alive', or some such nonsense. Little did I actually expect too see a six foot three-two-fifty pound looking linebacker who actually was Security. And yes, I am an idiot. Although the weather this year was too hot and muggy for my Canadian blood, and by the last day I was so sick of crowds I had to exercise a monk-like calm to resist the urge of kicktripping people who got in my way, there was still way too much awesome. Possibly more as it decompresses. | | Thursday, April 27th, 2006 | | 10:48 pm |
a self-congratulatory birthday greeting disguised as history lesson.
birth: 1951 - Ace Frehley, American musician (KISS) death: 1965 - Edward R. Murrow, American journalist (b. 1908) events: 1667 - The blind, impoverished John Milton sells the copyright of Paradise Lost for £10. 1813 - War of 1812: United States troops capture the capital of Ontario, York (present day Toronto, Ontario). 1986 - Captain Midnight (John R. MacDougall) hijacks HBO's satellite and transmits his own message to HBO viewers. (today!) 2006 - Nintendo revealed the final name for their fifth video-games console, the Nintendo Wii. The Nintendo Wii was previously codenamed the Nintendo revolution, until Nintendo revealed the new name for its console. is anybody else a little disappointed the next gen console doesn't allow one to enter the land of videoland and fight mother brain with the duck hunt gun and such? i can't be the only one with captain n-like aspirations, can i? bastards. | | Wednesday, August 17th, 2005 | | 10:29 pm |
so when was someone gonna tell me i'm supposed to be a responsible adult-like person by now? on sunday, kristy and i signed a bunch of papers with really small print and impossible numbers. apparently this means that we have our very own mortgage. and a home to go with it. i'm still pretty amazed that we can actually afford the place.(sure, we're in debt for like, 98 years, but that's beside the point) it's a rad little townhouse in a super-fancy and equally intimidating edward scissorhands-like suburban neighborhood. i'm looking forward to amany dirty looks from our neighbors. but, yeah, between this and adam's wedding, how did we get old-ish? it seems like only a couple months ago that my biggest questions in life were "which flavors combined will make the most unstoppable slurpee?" and "which comics should i reread tonight?". ( okay, that was only a couple months ago. but still.) i mean, how many mature homeowner's primary concerns are where they're gonna store all their comic long-boxes? [also, if any of youse wanna add kristy to your friends' list, i think she said it was cool. it's "kay_bell". but if she says anything bad about me in her journal, don't listen to her filthy lies.] Current Mood: dr. bloodmoney/demon days | | Wednesday, May 18th, 2005 | | 11:04 am |
01. TOTAL NUMBER OF FILMS I OWN ON DVD/VHS.. about 100 on dvd. 30 on vhs. 02. THE LAST FILM I BOUGHT.. bought life acquatic and fargo at the same time. 03. THE LAST FILM I WATCHED.. forbidden planet. 04. FIVE FILMS THAT I WATCH A LOT.. being john malkovich, jurassic park, the big lebowski, battle royale, pulp fiction 05. TAG FIVE PEOPLE AND HAVE THEM PUT THIS IN THEIR JOURNAL.. if you're reading this and haven't done it, feel free, yo. | | Thursday, February 24th, 2005 | | 11:30 pm |
warning: if i haven't regaled you with my whimsical story re: my encounter with seth green, this post is gonna make much sense. move on. so, last night seth green was on carson daly.( i guess the girls-gone-wild infomercial wasn't on because i really don't know why i was watching that craptacular show.) anyway, their conversation turned to toys and what a geek he is for them. THEN he starts talking about comic/toy conventions. then douche (carson) asks seth green if he gets recognized at conventions, to which he says something to the effect of 'yeah, i got recognized. so i started buying costumes and dressing up.' then, everything started to get really slow-mo and surreal-like as he starts talking about this one time a fan recognized him even though he was wearing a costume.. at that point i'm freaking out, trying to find a tape so i can record seth green's on-air confessions and i can finally revel in my victory..but as he's telling the story he starts talking about how it was some girl that recognized him and how was wearing an 'old man mask', or some such nonsense. YEAH, GOOD TRY SETH GREEN BUT YOU'RE LIES WILL BE REVEALED ONE DAY!! YOU"VE WON THE BATTLE BUT YOU HAVEN'T WON THE WAR, LITTLE MAN!!!!!! on a completely unrelated note, what's with all these people praying for the pope to get better? i thought it was common knowledge that the pope was like bernie in weekend at bernie's. that they play enchanted hymns and whatnot and the pope just kinda bobs around blessing stuff. silly praying people! | | Thursday, October 14th, 2004 | | 1:35 am |
"Live every day like you're gonna die.... Because you're gonna."
That's me paraphrasing some song from William Shatner. I recommend it to all (to download,not buy). It's funny,but in a really fucked-up way. Like that video-thing years back of that person who thought running into a train wouldn't kill 'em. Harharhar. Also with the funniness; Team America. Kickass movie. The pseudo-Bruckheimerness tone of the movie is brilliant. Perfect for the subject matter and all. And I finally got my tattoo. It's a monkey on my back. I got really nervous before my appointment and started stressing out. But then I had a meatball sub and it conquered my anxiety. If I knew how to use a computer, I'd take a picture and post it. Of the tattoo, not the meatball sub. You wouldn't wanna see the sub now. Also. GO BOSTON RED SOX GO!! I don't really care about baseball (or even like it) but I don't want to stop hearing people talk about BOSOX. It's the coolest sounding thing. BOSOX. Reminds me of a crazed barbarian with a deathly viral disease. BOSOX, THE SKULL-FUCKER!!!1 Believe it or not, I actually started this post with the intention of asking a question not doing bad stand-up. My parents' computer and my city of heroes discs hate each other and I was gonna buy a computer for myself soon.I was thinking of getting a mac 'cause they're s'posed to be good for the stuff I wanna do (making porn) but will my city of heroes discs work on a mac?! inquiring minds... BOSOX. | | Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004 | | 10:39 pm |
hi. does anybody wanna go to day 1 of lollapalooza in san diego on tuesday july 20th? i think there's some kind of little comic book convention-thing happening in san diego the day after, too. i was thinking of checking that out, too. bah. who i am kidding. i'm freaking addicted to the con. i have a sickness. if i don't go, i'll have to lock myself in my room a la trainspotting and hallucinate little klingon babies crawling on the ceiling. and that's just not as funny as seeing klingons up close. so, i got a room booked in the wyndham for the duration of the con. it's pretty pricey..so if anybody's thinking of going and wants to stay with me, they're more than welcome. (that means you too, mangler. but slitting my throat or lighting me on fire in my sleep is strictly prohibited.) aol retarded my computer. my instant messenger and e-mail don't work. if anybody wants to get in contact with me email me at; paperface00@hotmail.com word. | | Wednesday, February 11th, 2004 | | 8:41 pm |
i'm always stalking everyone else's livejournal but never writing a damned thing in mine. (i think it's because i come off as a total asshole whenever i talk about myself.) despite that, i'm about get to introspective on your asses and reply to five questions given to me by bob. 1.) What's your favorite thing about living in Canada? i like that no matter how hard canada may try, we will never be taken seriously. i really like the fresh air, too. out of all the places i've been, the air's the best here. we should bottle and sell the stuff. 2.) You get to open your own restaurant. What type of food fo you serve, and what is it's name? Do you serve Jizz-ola? heh. yeah, anybody that came into my restaurant and pissed me off would get a complimentary serving of jizz-ola. other than that, an ideal menu would be hyper-eclectic. i'd name the restaurant "Voulez Vous De Beurre". It's french, so people would think it's classy and such. and i'd make with the money like a bandit. 3.) You are given the option of writing and directing a film in one of the following lines: Indiana Jones, James Bond, Harry Potter, X-Men, Star Wars. Of those, which do you choose and why? doing Indiana Jones or Star Wars would be too intimidating. Bond and Potter I've never really cared for. it'd be neat to tweak them so they do interest me...but i'd get my ass kicked by fan clubs left and right. X-Men would be awesome. I'd love to try and do justice to a movie version of "Days of Future Past." that'd be so rad. 4.) What's your fondest memory online? STARTING THE GENN 13 FANCLUB!!!11@ other than that though, the list is the root of all fond online memories. mofo's anonymous tirade against x-mas. putting kevin smith of the list.(then taking him off.) masturbation. god. movies and comics. good times. 5.) If someone put a water gun filled with urine to your head and told you to drink some scummy looking water or they'd shoot, what would you do? Dirnk, or get shot? i'd dirnk like a motherfucker. i don't know what dirnking is but at least i'd avoid piss shot on my head and drinking scum-water. booyah. there. i hope people know a little bit more about me. if you'd like to know more about my sorry seld...ask five more questions. and i'll ask five of you. (only if you want me too.) (anybody i see in real-life on a semi-regular basis is banned from participating. if you have any questions...just ask me in person. it'll save me time typing. thanks, yo.) | | Thursday, January 16th, 2003 | | 2:27 am |
Journal of A New Cobra Recruit - Keith Pille
(this may be worthy of your time:) May 1, 1986 Man. I'm so excited to graduate this month. It's been a fun few weeks, signing yearbooks and going to beer parties and such, but at the same time I keep feeling worried about what I'm going to do afterwards. I don't have the grades for college. Heck, when I talked to the Army recruiter about becoming a G.I., he said I don't even have the grades to serve my country. I sure don't want to work at the gas station like my brother. - - - - May 2, 1986 Today this guy in a blue uniform came up and gave me a pamphlet. Said he was a recruiter for COBRA, an outfit a lot like the army but without all those government regulations to slow down the fun. We talked a little and he said he liked the cut of my jib, thought I'd be great COBRA material. - - - - May 15, 1986 Signed up with COBRA today. I got real excited when they said I earned a signing bonus... figured it would be a couple hundred bucks that I could put toward a new bumper for my truck. Nope. Just a t-shirt with a funny-looking snake on the front. And I'm not supposed to wear it in public. Pretty weird stuff, but they seem like nice guys. I report to COBRA boot camp out in Utah in the middle of June. The recruiter guy said that everyone around there thinks it's where some crazy old Mormon lives with all his wives. I'm not supposed to say anything about it to anyone. I'm supposed to tell Mom and Dad that I'm going off to work for the phone company. - - - - June 16, 1986 First day of boot camp was a bear. All of the other boots seem like nice guys. Don't know what any of them look like because the first thing they did when we got here was give us blue helmets with black hankies to cover up our faces. I'm getting pretty good at recognizing people's eyebrows though. Figured we'd do a lot of exercise today, but we didn't do as much as I thought. Mostly just running out of a door and yelling "COBRA!" at the top of our lungs. I got pretty good at it. Now I can sound awful scary when I yell "COBRA!" You wouldn't think it would wear you down, but boy, am I pooped. - - - - June 18, 1986 Boot camp's still a lot of fun. And I'm learning a lot. Today we did more mental learning stuff than exercise. We received a lecture about our main enemy, the G.I. Joe team. Seems that Uncle Sam is so nervous about COBRA that he set up an elite team of soldiers just to try to fight us. I couldn't be more proud. I had no idea I was signing on with a bunch that was this important. I guess the Joes have stopped us at pretty much everything we've ever tried to do. But believe me, is that going to change now that Steve Loring is a member of COBRA! Sarge said all kinds of funny things about how dumb the G.I. Joe team is. Like, they just have one person who's good at each thing they do. So they just have one guy who can fly a plane, and one guy who knows how to drive a tank, one guy who can fly a helicopter, one guy who can fight in the desert, and so on. They even have a whole aircraft carrier (for their one plane and one helicopter) with just a captain and one sailor to run it! Sarge was like, "What the heck kind of outfit is that?" and we were all just in stitches. Then this one recruit (I think it was Renfro, but I didn't get a good look at his eyebrows) says, "But if they're so dumb, how come they always beat us?" Sarge made Renfro go out and run around the track and yell "COBRA!" for an hour. - - - - June 20, 1986 Real boring day. I was all ready for some more physical training, but instead Sarge led us into a room full of phones and made us cold-call people and ask them if they wanted to switch their long distance to COBRA. During the break, Renfro asked Sarge when we became a long-distance provider. Sarge explained that we had to do something to make money if we were going to afford a private army with hundreds of tanks and planes and a Terrordome, not to mention all the expenses from the Serpentor genetic engineering project. Working the phones was demoralizing, and people were usually pretty mad when we called them, but it felt good to be doing my duty for COBRA. In between calls, I amused myself by thinking of cool one-liners I could say if I ever got the drop on one of those G.I. Joe bums. - - - - June 21, 1986 Awful exciting day today. First we got to do our airborne training. They loaded us up into a plane, and we flew up and then jumped out. Our chutes had the big, scary COBRA symbol on them. It was awesome. But it was hard, because we were supposed to keep yelling "COBRA!" all the way down. It was tough to get enough breath to yell right at first. Sarge says it just takes practice. After that we finally got to do weapons training. About time! They gave me a rifle and pointed at the target. I held the rifle up to my cheek and sighted down the barrel, just like I did when I went deer hunting with Grampa. Boy, did Sarge go apeshit over that! Got in my face and started yelling at me, asking how I expected to scare someone if I just stood there all quiet-like and shot so carefully. Sarge is a great teacher because he doesn't just criticize. He showed the right way to shoot. What you do is you start shooting your gun wildly and run towards the target as fast as you can and, in your scariest voice, you yell "COBRA!" We worked on that all afternoon, and just before we broke for dinner, I actually hit the target! Sarge and everyone else were so happy for me that they were about to cry. Told me I'd just set the record for marksmanship in COBRA boot camp. I wanted to call Mom and tell her the good news, but she thinks I work for the phone company. - - - - June 22, 1986 First Payday. No check, just a couple more of those t-shirts. Doughty and me planned to drive into town and sell the shirts for spending money, but Sarge caught wind of our plan, reminding us that we weren't supposed to let anyone see the t-shirts because then they'd know we were in COBRA. - - - - June 25, 1986 Tank training today! Wow, it was great! They didn't let us drive the HISS tanks ourselves, but we got to practice riding in the back turret and working the guns. By now we all knew what we were supposed to do without being told, and Sarge said he was so proud at the way we all just yelled "COBRA!" and shot wildly before he even showed us how. Renfro tried to ruin the day with a whole bunch of his questions. First he asked Sarge why our combat fatigues were sky blue saying we're visible from a mile away at least. Then, when we were practicing with the HISS tanks, Renfro started in on why the HISS driver wasn't protected by anything more than a piece of glass. And for that matter, he continued, why do we run the guns from an open turret with no protection at all? Sarge just about blew up. I think Renfro's going to be running around the track and yelling "COBRA!" for a long, long time tonight. -- that's some good stuff, that. in hindsight i suppose i coulda just posted the link, tho. ah well. |
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